Christmas…
What do you think of when someone says the word “Christmas”?
Joy? Family? Shopping? Religious celebrations? Food? Gifts?
Christmas is a time when the world seems to be wrapped in a comfy blanket. A time of great love and peacefulness. Good Will to all men, n’all that?
What about good Will to all women? What if you’re scared? You have no money to buy gifts for your children? Well, you do have money, but not until your controlling partner gives it to you, days before the event. So you’re forced to run round like a headless chicken to get things sorted at the last minute. All the while, pretending on the surface that everything is good in your world.
What if you do have money but your abusive partner kicks off about how much you “waste” on stupid presents?
What happens with ”celebration days” in many families where abuse is present?
Abusers frequently set out to spoil the festivities. They sulk, because it’s not about them. Abusers often like to be the centre of attention. You do know the centre of the solar system isn’t the sun, it’s the Abusive person?!
How would you feel if the thought of Christmas approaching filled you with dread? How would it be if you spent the next few weeks walking on eggshells around your abuser. Careful, careful, careful as the holidays approach!
Festivities are not festivities for everyone. For some, it’s stress, anxiety, panic attacks and depression. All behind closed doors. And we know that “What goes on behind closed doors is nobodies’ business” Ermmmm, well actually…. let’s make it our business, shall we?
It’s nine weeks ‘til Santa comes. That means about 27 women will be murdered between now and Christmas Day in the UK, at the hands of their partner or ex-partner. Globally, it’ll be around the 5,200 bodies mark.
Shocking! Sobering thought!
Well, if anything is likely to keep you sober, that is!
So, what can we do?
We can PREVENT it. We can CHALLENGE it on behalf of those people who are in too much danger to challenge it. We can demand education for our children to show them what healthy relationships look like. WE can educate our children on what is and is not acceptable behaviour. We can demand schools address the rape culture within them. We can kick down the closed door and release the shame that victims feel because where shame is discussed in safe spaces, it dies.
We have the power to stop this. But do we have the courage?