Pendulums swing. That’s what they do! Time on Planet Earth moves forward and so do we.
There’s so much talk about self care these days. Is it because we have been swimming through a culture where women were (are) literally programmed to put all others before themselves, and now we just want to get out of the pool and slap on some moisturizer and relax?
What is Self Care? Is it taking a bath with candles? Is it having a glass of wine in peace? Is it sitting early morning with a coffee and a book before the rest of our world wakes up?
All of these things and more! Self care is what you want it to be.
But what about truly committing to putting yourself first? If you are a woman reading this, that sentence probably makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable. That’s called Conditioning.
If you are a man reading this, most likely it hasn’t occurred to you to question your own self care. At the head of the food chain, you’ve had many thousands of years of genetics making sure you’re, well, at the head of the food chain!
For those of us taught to put others before self, life can get very depressing. And probably this is why we are reading a lot about self-love. Mental health is a popular subject for discussion. Times have changed. Where once we were wives and mothers, looking after our family home while husband went to work, now we are wives and mothers and career women, where we have to do ALL we used to do when husband went to work AND we have to go to work too! Who came up with that plan?
And some of us are single mums. We already have to do it ALL.
How many times do you see those inevitable memes – “best wife”, “best sister”, “best daughter” and so on? What about being “Best Me for Me”? After all, who will look after the people you look after if you don’t look after yourself first and then become ill? Mental health as well as physical health all take a hit when you put yourself last.
Going for a walk, to the gym, to a class on absolutely-anything-that-takes-your-fancy, for a weekend away, isn’t selfish. It’s self-LESS. Taking time so you have the mental and physical capacity to be the best you, means you can be the best You for others in your life.
In June 2022, with TRAC UK, a recovery service for women, I organised a Women Only Wellness Gathering. Over 100 women came, some in groups, some alone. For some it was their first trip away after the lockdowns were over. For others, their first time away ever! And for some, their first trip alone.
Whatever we did to facilitate it, that weekend was literally magical. I know so and I’ve been told so.
We provided wellness workshops of all descriptions. We had groups of women shakti dancing in a field. Others picking up a bongo drum and playing. Art workshops running alongside yoga. Comfort Zone and Self Compassion were another two.
Bringing together women from all over the country was amazing. Convincing them to invest in themselves wasn’t an easy task. Educating them to recognise their own importance was vital. And we did it!
So now that pendulum is swinging and we are giving ourselves time to swim in the lane we want to. And we deserve it!
WOW2023