At the time of writing this, it’s Valentine’s Day in the UK. Hearts n Flowers. Poems. Going to The Movies. Going for Dinner. Proposals of marriage. Diamonds. Hearts carved in the sand.
Lovely. All lovely. Gestures of love are important.
But hold on…
What if…
You’re in a new relationship? How far is “too far” at the start?
One of the things I can’t get out of my head is how abusers spoil special days. They sulk on birthdays and they throw tantrums at Christmas. Or even, they just don’t turn up, and spoil it because we worry.
And when things are “new”, many of us can’t see the abuser behind the Mask of Mr Nice. We don’t know the games he is playing. The love bombing. The gestures. The over the top-ness of it all. We just feel excited and (damn it!) grateful.
What if…
He proposes to you on your birthday?
What if…
You get engaged on Christmas Day?
What if…
You get married on Valentine’s Day?
What if…
It all goes pear-shaped and he’s a monster?
And if you manage to escape the abusive relationship, there are at least 3 dates in the calendar where you’ll be hard pressed to NOT think about him.
Just me and my musings, but worth the conversation, don’t you think?
Don’t forget:
You don’t get in to a relationship that becomes abusive. You get in to a relationship with someone who is going to abuse you. You just don’t see it at the start.
Top Tip: If it’s a day where gifts are exchanged, and the gift you get is an engagement ring. Say “No”.