Parents! Are you listening?
How do you feel about your teenager getting a boyfriend or girlfriend? What goes through your head when they tell you they have a date, or they are seeing someone? How long do they have to have been in a relationship before you want to meet their person? Do you meet them quickly to check them out? Or do you wait? Maybe meeting them is akin to endorsing the seriousness of the relationship, so you don’t want to make it official too soon? Maybe your kid is mortified at the thought of you meeting the person they are seeing?
Every family is different and we all have our own ways of doing things.
Something for you to think about though:
What if the person your kid has started seeing is abusive? What if you are missing the early signs of red flag type behaviours because you don’t see any of the behaviours? Because you haven’t met them yet!
We don’t get into relationships that become abusive. We get into relationships with someone who is going to abuse us. We just aren’t aware of the early signs. And when we meet someone, regardless if we are 15 or 50, we hope that this person we like will like us back. We have scenarios in our head about where this could be leading. We don’t want to see the red flags.
As parents we have to make decisions. Do you meet them early on or later? By which time, your child could be well committed and completely coerced and under the control of their abuser.
In the UK, the definition of domestic abuse was amended, and the age range dropped to 16 years because so many teenagers are in abusive relationships. In my book “Be Kind. No Excuses”, four of the five true stories were from women in their teens.
Rape Crisis UK statistics show that 90% of girls in school have been sent dick pics or other sexual images. This is a massive indication that misogyny is alive and kicking, and male attitudes towards women is that of entitlement and abuse.
Keep that in mind when you’re making decisions.